Burn, baby, Burn — Part 1

BURN, BABY, BURN--burning baby

Burn, baby, burn

Disco inferno

Burn, baby, burn

Ah, ah

–”Disco Inferno” by The Trammps

I took an online questionnaire that my mother sent me in an email, a nice change from her typical “mother”-load of messages containing jokes that only a geriatric could love. I came up…drum roll…

LIBERTARIAN

I hadn’t felt this elated since I joined the Westboro Baptist Church, who collectively hate everyone who doesn’t share their worldview or prefrontal lobotomies. Things came to a head when I started to become vocal to my opposition of not allowing the families of dead soldiers to grieve in peace because “GOD HATES FAGS!” I felt we should disturb grieving families of dead soldiers instead because of the Jews. I wasn’t exactly sure of the tie-in but I have read enough conspiracy theory to know that if there is anything bad–the Jews are responsible!

BURN, BABY, BURN--WestboroIt was a philosophical chasm that could not be crossed and so with my eviction from the church, I also had to turn in my picket signs of “GOD LOVES DEAD SOLDIERS” and “PLANES CRASH, GOD LAUGHS” and “THANK GOD FOR 9/11″ and my beloved “FAGS DOOM NATIONS.” So you can imagine how psyched I was to be able to attach another label, if not to a sign then to myself, and thus be alienated from those who identify themselves with a different group. I’m already working on my first picket sign:

GOD LOVES LIBERTARIANS–BUT NOT FAG ONES!”

.

Ron PaulBURN, BABY, BURN--Rand PaulBURN, BABY, BURN--Judge Napolitano

With this simple 10-question quiz I had joined a new family with similar beliefs in the importance of the Constitution, with such members in its ranks as former Congressman and Presidential hopeful Ron Paul, to his offspring Senator Rand Paul, who in my opinion is like a third dangling testicle of his 78-year old father–sharing the same DNA but little more than a dirty, vestigial skin pouch that drags on the ground; to Judge Andrew Napolitano, author and host of a segment on Fox Television that focuses on the Constitution and individual rights–which pains me because I generally agree with his views and Fox is the placental afterbirth of the evil spawn of the Devil and Lindsey Lohan. As much as I would like to have intercoursal relations with Lindsey Lohan, I wouldn’t touch her vagina with my 10-foot pole after Fox Television deposited its toxic sludge there.

FOR THE FULL PIECE GO TO:

http://rebelyogi.com/burn-baby-burn-part-1

Burn, baby, Burn — Part 2

BURN, BABY, BURN 2--burning-baby

Burn, baby, burn

Disco inferno

Burn, baby, burn

Ah, ah

–”Disco Inferno” by The Trammps

Another spouter of the liberty love-in is Mike Adams of Natural News, a popular website that provides a lot of good information about natural health, along with a healthy dollop of supplements and conspiracy for sale. He has labeled himself “The Health Ranger,” in a similar manner to Michael Jackson calling himself “The King of Pop.” While his health information is often of Army “Ranger” quality, his conspiracy and religious-based rants are cartoonish, more like Ranger Smith from Yogi Bear.

BURN, BABY, BURN 2--Ranger Smith and Yogi Bear

 

I find much of Mike Adams reporting to be cutting edge, including his recent reports and subsequent guest appearance on the Dr. Oz show where he detailed the frightening levels of heavy metals in many of our so-called “health” supplements, like rice protein. My issue is when his personal biases creep into what comes off as strictly factual reporting. While the following article might be factually correct, he reported it, like all these other inconsistent liberty preachers, not because it had anything to do with “natural news” or liberty, but because he is a “good Christian.”

In the article, Mike Adams talks about a company that collects the medical waste from a hospital, which it then converts into energy through burning. Besides used needles, bloody gauze and kidneys that fall on the operating room floor and can no longer be served while still retaining a Grade A health inspection is—<drum roll>—aborted fetuses. Reading this article, I found myself angry that Mike Adams didn’t focus on what the Westboro Baptist Church has illumined as the real issue that affects the health of our bodies and souls–the plague of homosexuality.

BURN, BABY, BURN 2--Westboro Baptist Church

As could be expected, the comments below the article consist of a gaggle of Bible fuckers declaring how this is an abomination and indicates that the Apocalypse is near, Revelations is right and a sense of humor is no longer needed to jerk your uncle off if he’s wearing a clown nose.

FOR THE FULL PIECE GO TO:

http://rebelyogi.com/burn-baby-burn-part-2

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