NIGHTMARE

© June 30, 2016 by Swami X

NIGHTMARE--flowers1

Walking to her place
First time they’d be together in…
……….can’t remember
He holds flowers
……………nervous energy
…..shakes them
……………like trees in a windstorm
His impatience to see his true love
Turns the sidewalk
To paved quicksand
Each step a struggle
……….barely covering the distance
……….that separates them

NIGHTMARE--pavement quicksand

At her door he pauses
He doesn’t check the smell of his breath
But fights to take in a full inhale
…..against the constriction
…..of his anxious lungs
He doesn’t fix his hair
…..but feels a heartbeat headache
…..pounding his temples
He is not sure whether
She will welcome him into her arms
……….or tell him to let her go
Whether his chest will swell
With joy
Or whether it will empty
……….leaving only numbness

NIGHTMARE--embrace2

He is willing to take the chance
Step up to the roulette table
Drop his life savings—
Not the green of money
But every ounce of his red river
Transfused into her
For a rosy return
Risking turning pale
Feeling blue
Living gray
…if she rejects it

Casino Roulette - 3d render

As he fidgets with the wrapped flowers
Twisting and turning
Them in his hands
Seeking the best angle
……….for presentation
He looks up
Startled to see her
Standing in the doorway
Smiling

NIGHTMARE--doorway

The flowers drop
To the ground
As he runs into her arms
Presses her against the open door
Heart to heart
Arms squeezing like boa constrictors
The side of his cheek
Firmly pinning her hair to her face
Unwilling to separate
Even a moment
For skin to skin
And all the pain of the last two months
…..Disappears
……….As does he
…………………………In her embrace

NIGHTMARE--hugging self

His right hand
Presses her head to his
As he leaves the sojourn
Of her cheek
Where his mouth seeks
New residence
…in her asylum

His left hand
Glides her forehead
Gently removing
The hair from her face
And with a clear passage
He kisses her firmly

Alex-Grey-Kissing

The waters flow
In both directions
From his mouth and hers
Gifted with the comfort and ease
Of two lovers
Who know each other’s lips
Whose tongues have danced
……….from Salsa to Tango
……….rumba to Afro
……….samba to disco
As her mouth to mouth
Resuscitates his life force
With her breath

NIGHTMARE--dancing2

He pulls her face back
Painfully enduring the separation
So that he can photograph her
With a wider lens
Wanting to hold onto
This momentary picture
For an eternity
But feeling too blessed
To press the shutter

NIGHTMARE--face to face

Her eyes look at him
With the love he felt
When they first made love
With the love he knew
Would be beaming from them
When she said
“I do.”

Version 2Version 2

“I love you,” he says
As if words could add
To the music of the moment
“I love you,” she says
As if speech could cage
This untamable lion

Movement to her left
Catches his eye
The black cat
On the kitchen table
Something rubs his leg
Looking down he sees
The same black cat

NIGHTMARE--cat

Confusion turns to terror
Fantasy to reality
As the earthquake of truth
Unsteadies his footing
He looks at her with panic
As a volcano comes from his guts
And spills out his mouth
…..“This can’t be!”
…..“Hold me and never let me go,” she says
…..“I promise, my love,” he says
The first time he made a promise to her
He knew he couldn’t keep
Soon the colors start to fade
…as the hug grows dim
…until all is dark

Version 2

His eyes snap open
In his bed
Lying next to a woman
Who could be
……….a one night stand
……….or his wife
All that matters is
She is not the love
Who faded away
With his hope of happiness

NIGHTMARE--one night stand

He buries his head
Into his pillow
And muffles his outcries
As the cotton cover
Absorbs his tears
Like a tissue

NIGHTMARE--man crying

His dream was over
And now he has entered his nightmare
He would only be allowed
To love her from a distance
The only hope of re-union
In his dreams

NIGHTMARE--Winnie The Pooh quote

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