Only three people RSVP’ed to the first yoga class of the season I was offering and so I was going to cancel it but then decided, “What the heck, I’ll teach the class anyway.” I changed the booking from a huge room that could hold thirty to one of the smallest rooms they had, which was similar in size to my first New York City apartment whose landlord responded to my query, “Where do I sleep?” with, “The last person who lived here slept on the toilet.” I found out the former tenant had committed a felony solely so he could have a bigger rooming area in Sing-Sing. One day before the class, three additional people told me they would like to participate and so I went back to the studio and changed the room to a slightly bigger one, although a little less pleasant-looking.
Five people showed up and, despite an opera rehearsal next door, we had a decent class. At the end of class I told the students that I had an envelope for donations and that this helped cover the cost of the room, not to mention my crack habit. Rather than having them hand it directly to me, I have them put their donations in an envelope for two reasons: first, so they feel comfortable giving what comes from their heart and not from their guilt and secondly, because I don’t want to see some cheap mother fucker put her spare change in there and then be unable to ever look at her again without thinking, “She’s a cheap mother fucker!”
Walking home, I dug into the envelope and to my dismay discovered there was only $15 in it–$5 short of covering even the rental cost. In other words, it cost me $5 to book space, change the space a multitude of times to accommodate the students, and teach an hour plus class.
I wrestled with the idea of “donation,” as I had been critical in the past when people would use that word instead of what they really meant—a fee. “$250 donation” is not making a request, it’s telling you what a participant needs to put into to coffer and still allow you tax-free status. I always wanted to go to some big workshop with just such a “donation” and say, “You know, I’ve decided I’m not going to donate any money today,” and see how they lose their shit. Rather than being honest, these New-Age posers are just trying to manipulate the already manipulated tax laws. I’m going to listen to some jackass talk to me about “liberation” from the entrapments of the ego and the world and yet they can’t even liberate themselves from the Federal Mafia’s Income Tax? Please.
If the #1 massage therapist in New York told a group of people, “I will give you a great massage, minus the happy ending, and you can pay me whatever you think fair,” there would be a bunch of people that would pay peanuts not because they think it fair, but because they know they can get away with it, and also when kidnapping Peanuts from Charlie Brown they didn’t realize it was a package deal and they had to take that lame bird Woodstock too. I would tell the #1 massage therapist right out, “Look, unless you give me a quick rub-off at the end, you ain’t getting shit from me.” But that’s just me, straightforward and upfront.
I would like to get mad at these yoga posers, but they are just a product of conditioned fear, the belief that there is not enough for everyone and we have to struggle for our mere survival. It saddens me a bit, that rather than wanting to support each other in our endeavors, to help everyone receive their “daily bread,” our fear leaves us clawing for the loaf, leaving breadcrumbs at most for which the rest can go hungry. The Bible literalist will tell you that God will provide us with our daily bread, not realizing that God is not some gray-bearded man in the sky, he is our brothers and sisters on the Earth.
I wasn’t planning on getting rich teaching yoga but I did hope that the students would show appreciation to the energy and love I put into my teachings, support my efforts, and not just take what I have to offer as, “Yay, free yoga!” They don’t seem to see that without their support I won’t be able to share my gifts to the many others who like to open them as well. Most don’t bother to look beyond “What’s in it for me?” And that is why yoga as “practiced” today is bullshit.
ADDENDUM: The next class I taught I wrote on the announcement: “$5 minimum donation.” That’s bullshit—I just fell into the very thing I criticize about others using the word “donation” inappropriately. If I’m giving an offering and it is by donation then whatever is given–or not–is okay and I won’t bitch about it…at least not out loud. I want to teach out of an outpouring of love, regardless of whether I feel the love coming back to me. If teaching becomes more draining than fulfilling then I am not so altruistic to say that I’ll be done with it and seek something else where my connection to flow remains totally open.
Hi, I took your class that day, and put a ten dollar bill into your envelope. Now that I see that the others only put in a fiver between them, and you spent a little more time with the flexible guy than with me, I was wondering if I could get some change. Thanks
The change you can get is in your perception of how you see reality. Currently your reality sees a remote possibility that you will receive back some change while my reality thinks that you’re an inflexible prick and won’t be getting shit.